How to Deal With Rejection in Writing: It's Just Math
Photo by Myles Katherine
The lights are dimming on 2019. Cue the annual tips & tricks for goal setting.
This week, my LitHabits for Writers Workshop students and I are diving into setting achievable goals to finish writing projects they're proud to publish.
But there's a problem...
You can't set an electrifying writing goal if you're scared pantsless by rejection.
Can you relate? You want to sink your pen into a new story or essay, but what if...
You're rejected with a form letter: "Sorry, your work isn't for us. Good luck." Ugh, the worst.
You publish to the sorrowful sound of crickets. 🦗
You publish and readers hate it. They send you hate mail and call your work "A blazing dumpster fire of horrendous writing!" 🔥
When you're in a "what if?!" rejection spiral, it's easier to crawl under your down comforter and spend the rest of 2019 in the fetal position than set a writing goal.
Tame your Fear of Rejection Monster before you set any writing intentions for the New Year. 👹
Here are 3 truth nuggets that will help you move through the fear of rejection so you can publish proudly in 2020:
Rejection is Universal (Or, Everybody Poops & Everybody Gets Rejected)
If you're not being rejected, you're not living.
Humanity is so diverse, it's unrealistic to please everyone.
There are people out there who hate The Beatles. Some folks gag at the taste of chocolate. 🍫 (Okay, but like... do you have taste buds? Do you have a soul? I digress...)
Pull up your favorite book on Amazon and read the 1-star reviews. Trust me, they're there and they'll infuriate you.
Instead of trying to write something everyone loves, answer these questions:
Do you love writing enough to withstand the heart-smashing bullets of rejection?
What's more important to you:
A reader who feels seen, inspired, and transformed by your writing, or...
Nursing a bruised ego because The Rumpus rejected you with a form letter?
Your ideal reader is waiting to be moved by your work. Rejection is the price of admission for the ferry boat to reaching her.
As Elizabeth Gilbert says, rejection is the "s**t sandwich" of the writing life. You have to eat the 💩 sandwich to reap the rewards.
The rewards of writing are:
Tapping into an ecstatic state
Reaching a higher state of consciousness
Better understanding yourself and the world
Changing readers' lives with your words
PS – it's okay if you'd rather pass on the 💩 sandwich.
In college and high school, I loved acting on stage. But not enough to deal with the rejection of auditioning. It was too much strain on my creative heart to follow that career path, so I took a hard pass on that sandwich.
Life is full of rejection. Choose a creative outlet you love so much that you're willing to stomach the discomfort of being told "no."
Rejection Isn't Personal, It's Just Math!
There's a formula in marketing called the "Rule of 1%."
For every 100 leads or subscribers you have, you'll make 1 sale. If you have 500 leads, you'll make 5 sales.
Entrepreneurs know if they're selling under 1%, the product or marketing needs to be tweaked. It's not personal, it's math!
This rule applies to pretty much anything in life –– fundraising, dating, politics. And of course, writing! The more you pitch your work, the higher your chances are for getting published.
The good news is, editors are ravenous for good writing. This means your writing might be accepted at a higher rate than 1%. For example, you may only need to pitch 25 editors before your essay is published, which is a 4% success rate.
But you'll never know your percentage unless you pitch like wildfire, so get goin'.
The Rule of 1% Offers A Sense of Certainty
Remember Thomas Edison's famous words: "I haven't failed –– I've just found 10,000 lightbulbs that won't work."
Edison had a 0.01% success rate, so you're already ahead of him!
When you see publishing as a numbers game, it takes the pressure off. It's not that you're not a "good enough" writer, you just haven't hit your numbers yet.
If you pitch 100 editors or agents, and all of them say no, that's excellent data. It means your work needs revision or it's time to write something new.
Revision is part of the writing life –– it's another layer of the 💩 sandwich.
Relish the revision process. You're becoming a better artist. Your writing will be more impactful on the readers who need it most.
If you struggle with perfectionism while revising, I've got you. I created a simple SHIP It! Checklist so you can revise without getting stuck in a perfectionism spiral.
The SHIP It! Checklist will walk you through exactly how to analyze and revise your work so it's resonant and ready to SHIP for publication. Hop on my LitHabits VIP email list, and snag the checklist here:
(PS – By signing up here, you’ll get this snazzy checklist PLUS you’ll officially be a LitHabits VIP. You’ll hear from me once-a-week, sometimes more, with writing tips, inspiration, enlightening interviews, and priority updates on my writing workshops.)
You're a powerful writer. Your readers are waiting to be moved by your work.
Keep writing.